Tips to stay positive

Hey guys :)

This is a bit of a random post today but i hope it helps anyone who is reading this! While dealing with PFFD, disability or any struggles in your life it can be hard to keep positive and remember all the good things that may be happening in your life. Here is just a few tips that i have found to be helpful!

I love having positive quotes and pictures around me to help me keep motivated. The small things in life mean the most and just sticking up a picture of where you would like to go on holiday or your dreams and ambitions will help you stay focused and help you achieve them. 

My favorite quote of all time, right next to my biggest inspiration Katie Piper xo 

 For example i have some happy quotes i keep around my room to read for when i am having a bad day with my frame. I also have a picture of the Eiffel Tower as my mum and dad have promised me that when my surgery is over they will take me and my boyfriend back to Paris. By knowing this it makes every crappy day or pain worth while :)

I bought all my cards from Paperchase for about 60p each.

You are all beautiful xo
http://www.paperchase.co.uk/

PFFD - Check Up

Hey guys, i have some good news!!

I had a hospital appointment yesterday at Sheffield Children's Hospital just for a check up and for once I got some good news! It's been six weeks since I had last been for a check up and there has been some good progress. I went for an x-ray and it was very clear that new bone had started to form, as what was a gap there is now a white blur there :) I went to see Mr Fernadas and Laura they where very pleased with me and said my x-ray looked and my knee was bending better. They then came out with "I think at the next appointment in 6 week we will make a date to get the frame of". Me and my mum just both looked at each other in shock with our jaws at the floor. We never expected them to say that as we thought it would be ages until my frame came off, I am so pleased with this news! To make my frame weaker they took a couple of parts of to make my frame off this means that I will able to put more weight on it, so the bone heels even more!

Im going to be doing a lot of walking in the next six week to make sure i defiantly get this frame off!
I will keep you all updated, have a great weekend :) xo

X-ray of my femur bone xo

Opening up about your disability

Not only is it hard having a disability, but trying to tell someone about it is even harder!

At one point in my life my disability was very visible this was when i was wearing a built up shoe and false leg. Because they where so noticeable everyone would stare and whisper to there friends or family "whats wrong with that girls leg" or a classic "omg that girl has three feet". I hated people staring it completely shattered my confidence, i felt like an alien for something that i couldn't control or change instantly. I felt my most paranoid and self conscious when it was big groups of teenagers staring at me, because all i wanted to do was say I'm just the same as you! I also knew that teenagers can be pretty mean and so was always worried if they where making fun of me! I have had some instances when people have tried to sneakily take a picture of my false leg and think that i didn't notice! That used to boil my blood as i thought what the hell are you doing my leg is really not that big of a deal. I also had another run in with what i thought was a nice old lady who then asked if my false leg was there as a joke because it looked like i had three feet. At the point it completely crushed me. Luckily my mum was there to defend me otherwise i would have just broke down crying right there, lets just say my mum gave that women some talking to lol. 

Me with my built up shoe :) xo

My first frame xo

The thing that frustrated me the most was I'm not bothered if you want to come up to me and ask me questions about my leg, I just don't want to be pointed at and then wonder what your saying about me. Im not gonna lie i do have my days where I'm in a sarcastic slightly annoyed mood where i don't want to be asked. And in that case i like to make up some funny stories as to what has happened to me for example i once said i got bitten by shark! The boys jaw dropped and he walked away which at the time is what i wanted, but in most cases I'm proud to talk about my leg. When i started Secondary School it was pretty daunting the first day as i had one more thing to worry about than the other kids and that was how are people going to react? Am i going to be bullied for how my leg looks? I can honestly say i had no problems at school to do with my leg. I found the best way to tell people about my leg was just to be straight forward with them, get it all out in the open. When i did most of the boys and girls would want to know more about it and find it pretty cool that i had, had operations ect. Im sure that people would say a couple of digs behind my bag but hey if i didnt hear them i didn't care :) 

BOYS!

I had my first boyfriend in YR 11 and i was quite lucky because he already knew everything about my leg and had seen all the changes with it from; false leg, frame then just raise in my shoe and he didn't care but we didn't work ha. 

After that i then met my amazing boyfriend Nathan, he popped up to me on facebook saying "hey i think i know you from somewhere" (even though he didn't) i played along with it because he was cute but i was so nervous talking to him because he had only seen my pictures on facebook which didn't really show my leg so he had no idea i had PFFD! We carried on talking for weeks and i thought he was so funny and caring and i really fell for him. He then started to ask to meet me and kept trying to put him off because i knew if i met him he would then see that i walked with a limp and that my leg was slightly thinner than my other. I thought i had to tell him because if we did meet he would maybe notice but if things went well and we started going out he would eventually see all my scars and then he would defiantly know i was keeping something from him. So before i agreed to meeting him in town i rang him and told him i had something to tell him. I was so nervous and i could tell he was too (he says now he thought i was going to say i already had a boyfriend) and so i just blurted it out " I was born with a condition called PFFD) he asked what it was and i explained i had one leg shorter than the other and i have had operations to try and lengthen it. I couldn't believe the first thing he said " Oh cool, my ex girlfriend had metal rods in her back" i was screaming inside yessssss he dosn't care! We spoke for ages about all my operations, scars and future treatment. Nath could not have cared less and it was then i knew i really liked him and wanted to go out with him :) And now we have been going out for nearly 2 YEARS! He has seen all my photos of me as child, my old false legs, my scars and now is going through my last operation with me. He has been an absolute life saver and i couldn't have done this without him. I know i can be myself and he wont care i love him so much and he is my everything! I never thought a boy would want to be with me, but i defiantly was proven wrong and so will you be if you are having them doubts.

Accidental boob squeeze 

going for a wheel round the hospital 

I hope this post helps others become more confident and open about your disability. I find that being open from the start and showing your proud of who you are is the best way to tell people about it! At the end of the day if they judge you about your disability then they are not worth knowing! Be proud to be unique. 

Its okay to have a bad day!

I have been feeling a little down this week and i just wanted to share this inspirational quote it always helps me when i read it and i feel like it is so true. Having a frame on you are defiantly going to have bad days but you have to remember you choose to be happy or sad and you have to believe that the next day is going to be better. And you have the choice to make it that way! Wake up in the morning forget bout your previous bad day and say this going to be a good day :) 

what to do in hospital when bored?

So i have had my fair share of time in hospital and it can be super boring especially if you are staying over night for a while. Also if you are on your own not everybody's parents are able to stay so it can be a bit lonely at times but im lucky enough that mum never leaves my side! soo anyways here are my tips;

1. Headphones and my phone are a life saver in hospital. they mean i can keep in contact with my boyfriend, friends and family i can also listen to music and go on social media sites my fave is instagram to cheer me up!

2. Now you may think im a saddo but there is nothing that makes you feel better than a hot waterbottle! I just love being so cosy in hospital and it always makes me feel better :)

3. No matter how old you are, everyone needs a teddy to cuddle and take there mind of pain,discomfort or boredom!

4.In hospital one thing  loved to do was have a bit of  pamper session and do my nails. It just made me feel more myself and like i was actually getting ready. it also was rather relaxing and took my mind of things :)  

5. The next thing that stops boredom is defiantly an ipad or an ipod!! Before you go to hospital it is a really good idea to download some of your favorite apps to cheer you up and distract you. Also if you are lucky enough to have easy wifi at your hospital you can catch up on all your favorite t.v shows :)

6, My next must have is my favourite facial products! i loved putting these on when i had a shower and i came back to a nice clean bed. My benefit moisturizer just made me feel so awake and happy. Bringing facial stuff is also good as you can spend a good half an hour giving yourself a professional facial or somebody else, like for example my mum. Also all this products where mini size so perfect for travelling.

7. sooo this is like the best friggen book ever! And Katie Piper is the most inspiring woman ever, i am such a lover of her i think she is just so brave, amazing and has helped me so much through some really hard times. This bookwas perfect when i was feeling a bit low in hospital as in the book she taught you how to over come struggles and just helped me so much.

8. Okay, i may be 18 but there is nothing wrong with a bit of pretty coloring. I got this book in Waterstones and the designs in it are so detailed and cute, they are quite grown up florals and so you could rip them out and decorate your bed at hospital or frame them :) 

9. I think pretty much everybody already does this in hospital but bring loads of magazines!! And dont forget to share with your neighbors too! 

10. This next tip for stopping boredom is something that the hospital provided, it was a craft women who came round and asked if you wanted to different crafts each week. The women was so nice and she suggested making a 3D hanger, you could do any design but i decided to be christmassy and do a Christmas tree. It was really fun and totally took my mind of any pain. I know that when you arnt feeling to good in hospital you may not want to take part in these types of activities but you should really try and push yourself as i find it helps a lot. And i got a free decoration out of it ;) 

11. Last but not least here is my final helpful tip. I love crafts so i found these cute Christmas DIY packs from Hobbie Craft really good to do when extremely bored, I started to do these types of activities when i was more awake and feeling better as it took more concentration. I got two sets one was a Christmas Card making kit and the next one was a sewing kit of two teddy bears.

I hope this post has been really helpful for you guys.

Mwaaaah :) 

Home Sweet Home

It feels so amazing to be home and not stuck in that hospital bed anymore. If you read my recent blogs you know i was getting taken to Sheffield Children's Hospital as i had so much pain! It turns out i had a really bad pin site infection in the pins at the top of my leg, the normal infection rate when they take your bloods it anything under 10 and mine was 172 which was very scary and painful. In total me and my mum spent 12 days down at Sheffield which is the longest i have ever stayed in hospital even when im having surgery, it was pretty boring and the food was pretty yaaakk. I cant even describe the pain i was going through it was pretty traumatic and there was nothing the hospital could really do apart from keeping me update with painkillers. My knee also seized up which caused extra pain so i had to work hard at the physio there to even get a little movement. iIts scary when you have horrible pain but you have to remember you are in the best place and you will not be left to suffer.

I try and avoid injections at all times but for some reason this hospital stay i was just not avoiding them, i had to have two of them iv things in your wrist (cant spell what its really called) blood taken every three days and injections in my stomach twice a day to stop clots! there was just not hiding from them but because im still a wimp i always ask for the freeze spray to help numb the area before they do it ooppssie ;)

I am very lucky they caught the infection in time, encase it went to my bone which can cause serious issues. The nurses where so lovely and most of the time they would come and talk to me about the headlines of magazines, Kim Kardishans bum and the new t.v program's. It help so much because it starts to take your mind of the fact you are in pain and in hospital. It started to get hard being in hospital so far away from home and my family but lucky they came down to visit during the middle of the week, i also became friends with the most prettiest girl in the bed next to me we would always argue about who was going to use the best bedpan first!. I was glad to make friends as it kept spirits up and calmed my nerves.

Im trying not to worry about anything else going wrong and just telling myself this are all normal problems you face with having a frame on :)

 my lovely mum and dad

me looking super pale but smiling!

Pffd- my pin cleaning routine

IF YOUR DOCTOR HAS TOLD YOU DIFFERENT FOLLOW THERE INSTRUCTIONS THIS IS JUST HOW I HAVE BEEN TOLD AND HOW I DO IT!!! :)

So first of all cleaning your pins suck a lot and I hate doing them but from personal experience it pays of to as it stops pin site infections and keep the wounds nice and tight! I did not listen to my doctors last time and I literally would have to be forced to clean them but im promised myself I would try harder this time and JUST DO IT!
I clean them once a day either in the morning or night after I have a shower. Getting them wet in the shower really helps as it softens and scabs and is less likely to sting. After that I then use a hairdryer to dry my frame on a cool setting so it doesn't get to hot! By this time my mum has set up my cleanw tray whcih includes;
¤ cotton buds
¤ bandages 10x10 cm squares
¤ scissors
¤ paper tape
¤ sterile water
¤ antibacterial hand jel
Everything must be clean its a must!!
Here are a couple of photos step by step how I dress some of mt pins :) I know its crap but just be strong and remember your final goal ♥



Sorry I missed out a step but after hand jelling my hands I take one cotton bud and dip it in sterile water I then wipe it round away from half of my pin and then dry with another bud I repeat his step until everything is clean on all my pins :)



After this i use the square bandages and may them into long thin bandages and then wrap them around the pin above the the squares to keep them secure and tight.